Why is it so easy to be knocked off course? Any distraction, or dip in confidence, or minor upset seems to mess up my routine and my resolve to do the Things That Help me stay well. This past week I have been completely absorbed by an argument about a duck on a statue, so that my healthy habits and depression experiments have fallen by the wayside; the week before it was hormones disturbing me.
And sure enough, my early-warning system is picking up little signs of an impending depressive spell: listlessness, poor concentration, house extra untidy, inbox unmanageable, starting to avoid seeing friends, waking up at 4 in the morning.
Time to re-group, urgently and energetically. Get up early, record dreams, 5 minutes of mindfulness, record mood scores, go for a run, healthy breakfast, work on Depression Lab research/experiments, trombone practice, housework habit, walk with a friend, proper meals, bat work, more mindfulness, early night. And repeat.
This depression thing is like being stuck on a moving walkway taking you slowly but surely in the wrong direction. Got to keep going just to stand still. Think I know how Sisyphus must have felt.