Since key symptoms of depression include: loss of interest in life; difficulty in making decisions; feelings of uselessness and inadequacy; and inability to cope with things you used to, then it’s no wonder Stuff Doesn’t Get Done. Â It’s hard enough for ‘normal’ people to find motivationÂ for action, so what chance do depressives have? Â No chance.
For years I believed my lack of motivation and willpower was due to laziness and indiscipline, and the constant cycle of goal setting and failureÂ reinforced that belief – and my depression. Â These daysÂ I am learning to bypass the need for willpower altogether by forming useful habits that require no mental effort.
Habits are working well for me. Two examples:
- I feel better when I start my dayÂ early (before 6.30am), but struggle to get up. Now, when Raisin (my dog) wakes me up for her breakfast at 6 (when the alarm used to go off), I get up and don’t go back to bed. It was tough for the first couple of weeks but now it’s automatic.
- Housework is not my strong point, and the state of my house is a source of shame. I set myself housework tasksÂ but don’t do them. Now every time I use the bathroom, I do a tiny amount of cleaning there. Fold a towel perhaps, empty the bin, dust a shelf. After a fewÂ days of this I had a clean bathroom, and wasÂ ready to expand my operation to other rooms.
So here are someÂ strategies to consider when you want to do something :
- start small – tackle stuffÂ one baby step at a time, but do it every day/regularly
- form useful habits – Â Zen Habits andÂ Superhuman by HabitÂ by Tynan really helped me
- be kind to yourself – getting stuff done isÂ hard when you have depression, so don’t feel bad about it. Research says being kind to yourself is a good idea anyway 🙂
- get support – ask a friend to help you make a start and take an interest in your progress
- rewards – treat yourself to a nice hot bath/a sticky bun/whatever when you have accomplished something
- structure – some argue that a clear plan for the day is a good idea; a set routine. But if you crash the plan and feel bad as a result, it will be counter-productive. A framework of things to do that involve others and/or immutable commitments, like work perhaps, or walking the dog, might be more useful
It takes trial and error to find what works best when you are depressed.Â Just get started. Small steps.